Saturday, March 3, 2007

Yet Another Saturday Night Hoedown

Another Saturday night Un-Party. I don't like to call 'em parties, that just sounds too official. I tell people to just drop by on their way to/from whatever else they're doing that night, anytime between 6pm and 2am. I'm gonna be here, drinkin', cookin', playin' pinball, and listening to the Beatles, the Stones, the Faces, and the Black Crowes. I'd rather spend Saturday night at home than go out, so ya might as well come join me.

Had a few different waves of people come by tonight, starting with Paige & Nikki, then Carina and some feller, then later on Terry Anderson and some friends of his from Bunn. Right after they got there, my next-door neighbor Regan pops her head in hang out for a while

About 1:15am, while I was in the kitchen whipping up yet another of my fabulous quesadillas, somebody in the front of the house hollered "Hey, Bob, there's a girl at your door who's bleeding."

I didn't hear that last part because the music was up so loud, so I’m like "What?"

So somebody shouts "There's a girl at your door and she's bleeding pretty bad."

I dropped what I was doing, grabbed some towels from the linen closet on the way and went out the front door. Cute little 24 year-old blonde named Ashley is standing there bleeding like a stuck-fucking-pig all over my porch. I sat her down in one of the rockers on the porch and asked her what happened.

She was 'bout drunker than Cooter Brown. I started applying pressure to the cuts on her hand as she started telling her story. Ashley and some other girls about her age (recent college graduates) live next door to my neighbor Charlene a couple of houses from me. A big old gang of her friends were out at a bar and she just got tired and took a taxi home. Got home OK, but didn't have her keys with her, so she went around back and punched out the bathroom window. Cut the everloving shit out of her hand, freaked out, and I guess she came over here because she either saw the lights on or heard the music, maybe both.

As she's telling the story, Regan had the presence of mind to call 9-1-1, because this girl is still bleeding like crazy. I pull the towel off long enough to see a couple of really nasty cuts, but tell her she's gonna be OK.

Terry goes and sits in the car he came in because all the blood was a bit much for him.

Ambulance shows up lickety-split and the EMT's take control of the situation. Off she goes to the ER, where she eventually got 10 stitches…

Terry and his friends split not long after the ambulance left. Regan and I grabbed a flashlight and walked over to see the window the girl punched out. There was glass and blood everywhere – lots of blood. What a mess!

I put a note on her front door for her roommates to call me and I'd explain where Ashley was. I was sitting on my porch alone about 3am (Regan had gone home) when they finally got home, saw my note and called me. I walked over and told 'em what happened and that Ashley would probably be calling them for a ride whenever she was released from the ER. Man, they were all shit-faced drunk.

When I got back over to the house, I started cleaning up all the blood on the porch. It was on the porch, on the doormat, on the rails, on the door, even on the damn bricks! Found more the next day when I got up. I was later told by one of her roommates that she lost a couple of pints of blood, which is waaay more than I'd ever care to lose.

What a night…

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