Ah, the last day of the tour. It's always a clusterfuck for me, because everybody's dumping receipts on me that they should have given me days, weeks, and sometimes months ago. The road manager has a float. The nanny has a float. The SUV driver has a float – R. Kelly has a guy drive his gigantic SUV all over the country so it's always available to him. The wardrobe chick has a float. All 7 bus drivers also dump their floats to me today, and I have to do end-of-tour settlements with them to get them back to Florida. Just imagine you're driving a bus that gets "about" 5 mpg from Sacto to Orlando – 2,895 miles if you're counting – and figure out how much money it'll take to buy diesel fuel for that bad boy to make it. I figured 4.5 mpg to be safe, threw in an extra 50 miles, and paid a rate of $0.75 per mile. We're talking $2,208.75 per bus, and that's just the ones that are going straight back. A few have to drop folks (and stuff) in Chicago (3208 miles, $2,443.50 in fuel) and a couple of them just stay in Chicago. R. Kelly keeps 2 buses at his disposal 24/7/365. Trust me when I tell you that it's not cheap to do that.
So anyway, I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest all day. That's OK, though, because it just makes the time fly by.
Before ya know it, it's 2am and I'm at the hotel. Say goodbye to a couple of folks and head to my room. Flying to Chicago tomorrow for a few days to wrap up the tour…
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