I hear my name. Someone's telling me we're almost to the hotel. Roll out of my bunk to check everyone in. Werner's managed to circumvent the tachometer wheel and skip his break, meaning that we're arriving far earlier that expected. From all the tossing and turning in my bunk, I know he was also speeding (on our behalf and at our request, of course). We refer to that as the running of the Werner 500. I get all the room keys, wake everybody else up and get 'em going. Hang out with Werner for a few minutes and then it's hugs and goodbyes with him, too. I'm in my room by 7am and suddenly have time to kill. Shower and drop onto the bed for another hour of slumber.
Out the door around 10:30,. Ridley rings me in hope of meeting for breakfaxt, but we're in separate terminals. We'll have to have that breakfast in Long Beach, I guess. Have my stuff x-rayed TWICE at different locations, and I've produced my passport 4 times by the time I reach the gate. Finally get to the gate around 11:15.
Flying business class – Yay! I don't really mind flying coach going west, but I'm still glad to be up top. I'm in the dome of a 747. Food's much better up here, too. One of the flight attendants, an Asian woman in her late 30's (can you say hottie?) gets all excited when she sees my Apple Powerbook. She just bought her first Mac (a G5) yesterday online, and she can't wait to use it. She's never used a Mac before, but like a lot of people these days, is making the switch. I tell her that within 7 days she'll wonder why she didn't switch years ago. Just like I did back in '98.
Land at Washington Dulles and have to go through Immigrations and Customs. I'm the first U.S. citizen to queue up at the immigrations counter. Finally get through THAT little nightmare about 10 minutes later. I've never been asked the kind of questions that bitch put me through. Didn't seem to like any of my answers, even though they were all truthful.:
Have you ever broken any laws? Well, yeah, there was that little ticket scalping thing in Charlotte in 1982, the bogus B&E in 1991, and the DWI in 2000. Other than that DWI, I haven't had so much as a parking ticket since 1992.
Where else have you lived? Columbia, SC. Charlotte, NC. Suitland, MD. Raleigh for 21 years.
No, I've never lived in Illinois. Yes, I'm sure. Yes, that's the truth.
Now she wants to see my drivers license. Never had to pull it out before for immigrations.
Have you ever owned a handgun? No. I hate guns. Never owned one, never will. Yes, I'm sure. Yes, that's the truth.
She starts in with the old "if you don't tell me the truth now, it'll be worse for you later" bullshit. I'm fucking steaming inside, but don't want it to show.
She finally gives up whatever she's doing on that damn Interpol computer of hers and lets me go.
Off to customs…
Not my day. My bag goes through X-Ray 4 times. Each time after the first, the dude takes more and more crap out of my bag to dump into trays to be X-Rayed separately. FYI, my shoulder bag is the most intricately packed bag of all time. Not 10, but 25 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. He's got the goddamn thing nearly empty before he finds something which to him evidently justifies all of his efforts – a stupid little (2") screwdriver that's been through at least 10 airports since I bought it.
I'm sorta glad he had THAT to keep his little mind occupied, becaue I'm carrying in excess of $40,000 in various currencies, and if you don't declare when carrying amounts over $10k you can get into really deep shit. He asks if there's anything of value in the locked bank bag. I tell him there are documents and some cash, but that the amount is well under the limit. He bites. I'm free…
All the flights are fucked. Bad weather in the NY/NJ area is screwing everything up. My flight's oversold and they're asking for voluteers. I'd consider it if I hadn't just taken an 8 ½ hour flight from Germany.
I hope my plane's coming in from down south of here, or I may not get home tonight.
Don't these idiots know I've got dinner plans??????
Follow the Bobzilla's Photos link at the right to see photos from my travels.
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